Wednesday, 14 September 2011


several days before the new semester started, i had recurring thought about what would happen if out of nowhere my laptop crashed and burnt. and today, it has become a reality. maybe that's what they call intuition. or bad premonition. 

it was really stressing me out, psychologically and economically. spending money to buy a new one would require me to ask money from my parents for the next 3 month. which is embarrassing enough. my laptop had been my best friend since 2009, and now i feel lost, because i had personalized it that it had become almost a depiction of myself. luckily because of the paranoia i mentioned earlier, i managed to save some data in my external hard disk.

i asked Mr. R to lend his laptop to me because he was just about having his vacation after UPSR. we planned to meet up right after his tuition class tonight, but i overslept till 11.3o with my handphone turned off. the moment i woke up, the guilt was choking me. he already went back home. he yelled at me. but he went back here to give me his laptop.

now, whenever i think about how fast he could forgive me and rushed to my assistance, i feel guilty.

because when i was mad at him, i would make it hard for me to forgive him.

just because.


lesson learnt, and now i know why i stay with him all these years.

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