a note of wisdom to myself from jacob tomsky's book.

most of the times, i just ADORE max

Caroline : It's odd. You didn't even react. You need to react when people cry.

Max : I did! I rolled my eyes!

for me, when people cried when they're in the same space with me, i froze. i didn't even have the will to roll my eyes, if the person cry for utterly ridiculous reason, like a miniature fight in obviously not-gonna-work relationship. But if i care for the person (and/or the person cried for legit reason), after the froze moment, all i can do is pat the shoulder, the back, and mutter some sympathetic words. that's all i could do with my communication skills. ::shrugs::

guess i answered the quiz honestly :)

studying Educational Psychology in the living room with the sun so hot i'm melting (not in the good way).... i HAVE to, if i go back to my room i'll sleep fo sho +_+ oh kuala lumpur does it really have to be summer now?

but luckily i have water :D

and for extra taste

i add this

lemon juice and all its goodness in a cute little lemon-y bottle :3

XD yummy! ok not so good actually but as long as i can get rid of that plain-ey taste that RO water has, i'm satisfied. definitely going to buy a couple more before going back home :)

the first entry in 2012 :) gonna be jotting down some of my resolutions :P

1. lose some weight (recycled from 2011 T_T)

2. read my piles of spider-webbed ebooks. oh, that reminds me that i (maybe) should get an ebook reader :P

3. i want to put my drawing in this blog, coz i keep losing them =_=''' but for that i either need a drawing tablet OR a scanner (fine! more things to be bought in 2012 )

4. be a better human






i guess that's all? i think no. 1 is achievable coz i think i will do a lot of cardio exercise in the spacious uni. no. 2... i guess it's okay as long as it wont strain my eyes too much. no. 3.... i'l see if i can buy a drawing tablet :P and no. 4 is the most challenging of all. but i'll try. dah nama pun azam, haruslah kene cube dulu... 

:) 
 

just something i watched from shane dawson. and my realization. funny how i can get realization from a video of a im-dead-if-i-dont-curse-for-one-minute drag queen. ok. despite what i say in the previous sentence, i love shane. and shanaynay :P

Shanaynay : So, what's your problem?

Aaron : Well, my family hates me, my friends hate me, i don't have a girlfriend. And i have a fatal disease that's gonna kill me in the next 10 years.

Shanaynay : Oh my God!

Aaron : I know...

Shanaynay : Not you! Someone brought Rice Krispie Treats into the office and didn't offer me any. Girl, you better bring them over before i cut your ass!

Aaron : So what should I do?

Shanaynay : You gotta stop being a bitch.

Aaron : What?

Shanaynay : Listen, the reason people hate your ass's coz you're complaining all the time. Crying about your diseases. "It hurts. My organs are bleeding. I can't poop because coz there's a tumor covering my butthole." Your friends don't give a shit, doctors dont give a shit. The only person that gives a shit is Jesus. Did you bitch to him? 

Aaron : Well, I guess not.

Shanaynay : Well, there you go, go bitch to him instead of bitching to everybody else. 

the above conversation is an exact copy from his video, and i hope nobody would get offended by it. all i wanna say is, though it's harsh and connected to other religion, this part of the video kinda remind me that i am alone in this world. i may have my parents, siblings , friends and that special friend who may care , but eventually it's ME that's looking after myself. i have a lot in my mind, especially in this stressful time, and because i just dont know where to let it out. this blog is one way. and the other one is by confessing to Allah. i usually ended my prayer with my own usual du'a that it has become so familiar that i kinda lose grasp that actually Allah is the only one that i can be honest with my fears, my feelings, my insecurities and my melancholy. But now i get the concept back. It's not the 'bitching' concept like Shanaynay said, but for me, in this real life, it's more to opening yourself up, be honest to Allah about what you feel, what you're afraid of, and what's bothering you. Next step is working it out to get the result you really want. And hope for the best :)

 

my own reminder for myself

aku tak pernah berjanji

untuk 

setia pada kamu

bukalah matamu

berpaling dari diriku

benamkan semua mimpi-mimpimu

jujurlah pada hati

masih banyak cinta menanti

jangan kau harapkan aku

me is jess? but i cannot disagree with the last part lol. that's sooooo me, i have to admit it.

the day when you're not well and completely lose the will to study

but miraculously still have the strength to surf the internet all day long

fml

third day of eid

is the most tiring day. together with papa's siblings and their family, we went to houses in which the older generation resides. it was not really tiring, because we only entered the house, shake hands with the grandpas and grannies, eat a bit cookies (ha! actually i eat a LOT!), drink a bit beverages and eventually left the house. but OH BOY did i was relieved when everything is over. what makes it so painful? the friggin' hot weather! i was sweating like madness that made walking seems like a 100m sprint. 

and here's one picture mama, ayu and i took at one of the houses we visited that day, please ignore my messed up hijab and my pale-because-the-lipstick-is-long-gone-with-cookies-crumbs-and-cordial-drinks lips.

 

second day of eid

is practically a relaxing day. mama and i went to square one to catch any new movie. but because the malay movie is oh-so-ew,seriously? (seriously, unless it's for free i won't spend even a cent to watch karipap-karipap cinta and hantu bonceng. who the hell had the urge to name their film with such name as karipap anyways? duh~) so we decided to watch final destination 5. not bad, i'm fine with gruesome movies. ( okay that's a lie. i still can't bring myself to watch chronicles of saw.) but final destination is another kind of gruesome, because in the characters die in some sort of twisted fate, not because a serial killer with a chainsaw is running a killing spree neither do they are being forced to kill their friends to get a key out of his stomach. other than it's thrill, if anything, final destination made me a little more careful in making decision. good movie, i would say.

and i also got a new pair of shoes, black ones because i kinda forgotten to buy one in darker shades when i went to buy shoes two days ago. but it's okay, i got three new pairs now heehee