last ring

Aryssa was literally wriggling on her seat by the time the clock struck one. She looked around past mumbling Cikgu Siti to see most of the other students were continuously yawning. She would too, if only she had not received the sudden news that Kak Lisa was coming to her house that day.

     "Dem... another 30 minutes..." she grumbled to herself. She tried to focus on the mind map of History laid out before her, but she just couldn't. It has been a long time since they met, probably because Lisa had transferred to Penang and most of the time Hakimi would be the one visiting her there. Aryssa smiled remembering Lisa's soft smile, and her gentle words, which never cease to mesmerize her every time they meet.     

the red scarf

     "Are you sure about this hijab thing? I mean, once you pick that path, you gotta stick to it, you know..." Diana mumbled. She stared at the girl sitting before her. Aryssa was beautiful, she would be even if her black lustrous locks covered with a piece of cloth. Aryssa shook her head softly. 

     "I don't know. I... I just feel like it's finally time to do it. I know people will say all sort of things, but still...." She grasped the red scarf on the table as if trying to find the source of strength to set her heart. That expensive piece of cloth given by Hakimi's fiancee, Kak Lisa after her umrah last year felt soft in her hands, but she could still feel the stubbornness of streaks of threads among the fabrics.  

a bad day

i could still remembered the tear-stricken face i saw on the mirror that day. i never thought emotional frenzy could be so bad; i was crying like mad, i inflicted bloodless pain onto myself and all the negative thoughts are rushing into my mind, along with the loneliness creeping behind. i had nowhere to go, nobody to run to. friends are not people i want to burden with my nonsense, they have had enough with their besties and themselves. parents are out of question, i'd like them to think i'm worrying over assignments and task, not sobbing about endless negative thoughts. and i remembered i still have that one person in my life.

i reached for the phone.

he was all smiles, waiting for the train for hometown, and i felt guilty bringing my heartache up on his face. but he was a good friend. he said to me "your heart is yours. it's inside your own body. no one can hurt it without your approval." it's like waking up from a nightmare. he said it several times, like a mantra in between our conversation, along with some other things. and at the end of it, i feel a lot more better than i would have been if i sat at the corner of the bathroom crying to myself.

writing this piece, i feel like like crying again. i wasn't fully recovered from the wound, and i'm not much stronger than i was on that day, but i'll try.

if the frail piece can be broken, i'd have it smashed into pieces

you know if you just tell me, i won't feel anything. you know i'm not one for such thing. but when you made that poker face, it's something to me that sounded like "fuck off, you don't deserve what we have"

well, congratz, you reached your aim. 

NEXT

on a brighter note, i found a kindle dealer i think i can trust since it's cod. for myr550, it's a deal compared to the other unknown brand.

four in the morning

After hours of turning and tossing on her bed, she finally made up her mind. 'Every question deserves an answer', she thought - even the one she had no courage to answer to. Aryssa hesitantly turned on the desktop to see the email that had change her day into frenzy of emotion. An email from Haikal.

"... So, I like you very much. Hazry is just not enough for you. Please consider me as potential lover, in case you need someone better than him."

     

     "Such an egocentric opportunist," she mumbled. He most probably had witnessed the signs of crisis between Hazry and her, and started making assumptions about their relationship, and finally letting his feeling and idiocy get the best of him. Aryssa inhaled deeply as her fingers started typing rather harshly on the keyboard.

"We're still together." 

was her brief answer. Somehow she was grateful she was not that close to him, she can't stand such awkwardness she foresaw would occur. The very moment, her phone beeped. A message from Hazry.

Aryssa smiled reading it.

 

memebase time

 

i'm in no way bieber-hater, but the jokes about him are hilarious most of the time!

and the crying face at the last koma.

SO CUTE!

cheerio 

eid this year

     

     
       "I think that's all for today. Here's your pay. Thanks for your help these few days ya." Cik Mira said while fishing out several red notes from her purse. Hazry quickly wiped sweat off his face before taking them from her frail hands. Walking away from the grocery store, he grinned with satisfaction; he now had enough money to fulfil his little princess' wish.

*  *  *

     "Wow, that's beautiful dress you have, Balqis!" Aryssa exclaimed with awe as soon as the little girl stepped into her lawn, Hazry standing right behind her.          
        
          "Pretty, right?! Abang give it to me!" she answered happily before rushing into the living room to show off her adorable clothes to another kids who have already been there for Aryssa's open house.

     

          Aryssa moved her attention towards the boy standing before her. "And you. I thought you said you wanted that expensive Nike tee as your eid apparel?" 

     

          "Well, anything for the little princess." Aryssa nodded, a sign that she understood.  Meanwhile, Hazry shot a naughty up-and-down look on Aryssa, making the girl who was dressed in soft pink kebaya nyonya blushed. She took hold of the clothing covering his arms and pulled him towards the door.

        

           "Come on in. Athirah, Risa, Haikal and Danny has been waiting for you. Also, I made your favourite nasi tomato." He chuckled a little as they went into the house together.      

chrome add ons

you can say i'm biased towards google chrome, because i've been using firefox since forever. (logically, internet explorer is totally out of question. it's old, slow and useless. it's unfortunate i can't delete it from the system). 

but as time goes on, i was influenced, bit by bit, because i just can subtract the fact that chrome is indeed google's child and gmail and blogger, which is also google's, have been my favourite.

so i'm thinking perhaps i could try to be chrome user in my next laptop, an idea that comes just in perfect relation with the entry of "google add-ons" in webuser 8 september 2011. (because i love add-on. my internet life is lifeless if they're absent). so i'm just gonna share the add-ons in this post.

i havent use these add-ons, so i'm not sure whether it's really good. i hope they are.

1. stayfocusd http://bit.ly/stay274

it's an add-on that limit the amount of time you can spend on a website. firstly you gotta set the amount of time, say, 2 hours per day on facebook. when the time allocated is used, it will block facebook. fin. 

perfect for my addictive frequent visit on memebase, quickmeme and lamebook

2. google dictionary extension http://bit.ly/dictionary274

an unknown word appeared!

double click on the word!

meaning attack!

pronunciation attack!

= unknown word is captured!

also, work on foreign word.

heaven

3. hide friends from facebook http://bit.ly/hide274

let you hide people from your facebook without the need to unfriend them.

a miracle tool if i need to befriend a lot of people when i started playing facebook games. hoo!

so there's what i like. the entry actually include, like, 20 of add-ons but which i found of no use to me, which can be found below.

4. block junk website from google search http://bit.ly/personal274

5. change appearance of web pages http://bit.ly/style274

6. find and mute noisy tab www.mutetab.com

7. always new tab on the front http://bit.ly/tabs274

8. block certain websites with "Web Access Blocked" message, particularly from children http://bit.ly/webfilter274

9. share content on multiple social network http://bit.ly/sync274

i'm not responsible for any problem caused by these things. just sharing.

4.04am

several days before the new semester started, i had recurring thought about what would happen if out of nowhere my laptop crashed and burnt. and today, it has become a reality. maybe that's what they call intuition. or bad premonition. 

it was really stressing me out, psychologically and economically. spending money to buy a new one would require me to ask money from my parents for the next 3 month. which is embarrassing enough. my laptop had been my best friend since 2009, and now i feel lost, because i had personalized it that it had become almost a depiction of myself. luckily because of the paranoia i mentioned earlier, i managed to save some data in my external hard disk.

i asked Mr. R to lend his laptop to me because he was just about having his vacation after UPSR. we planned to meet up right after his tuition class tonight, but i overslept till 11.3o with my handphone turned off. the moment i woke up, the guilt was choking me. he already went back home. he yelled at me. but he went back here to give me his laptop.

now, whenever i think about how fast he could forgive me and rushed to my assistance, i feel guilty.

because when i was mad at him, i would make it hard for me to forgive him.

just because.

...

lesson learnt, and now i know why i stay with him all these years.

just some things i found

peanut cookies

     "What's with all these heads-down thing? Look at me," Hazry said as his hands tugged the girl's chin upwards. A wide grin appeared on his face as soon as he understood what was going on. Just like a little pearl, a pimple was growing in the middle of Aryssa's forehead, which considering the girl's flawless skin, would bring much  attention to the little 'gem'.

     "It's Abang Kimi's fault.  He brought home this delicious peanut cookies, and I just can't resist..." Aryssa commented with a cute little pout, which made Hazry chuckled.

     "You know even with zits like that all over your face, you would still be the cutest girl I've ever found." 

     "No way."

     "You think I go for looks? Okay, I did when choosing my favourite actress. But when it's someone that I would have to spend time under this cherry tree with, talking with her for hours, sharing my present and past with her, I want someone lovable, just the way you are now."

third day of eid

is the most tiring day. together with papa's siblings and their family, we went to houses in which the older generation resides. it was not really tiring, because we only entered the house, shake hands with the grandpas and grannies, eat a bit cookies (ha! actually i eat a LOT!), drink a bit beverages and eventually left the house. but OH BOY did i was relieved when everything is over. what makes it so painful? the friggin' hot weather! i was sweating like madness that made walking seems like a 100m sprint. 

and here's one picture mama, ayu and i took at one of the houses we visited that day, please ignore my messed up hijab and my pale-because-the-lipstick-is-long-gone-with-cookies-crumbs-and-cordial-drinks lips.

 

second day of eid

is practically a relaxing day. mama and i went to square one to catch any new movie. but because the malay movie is oh-so-ew,seriously? (seriously, unless it's for free i won't spend even a cent to watch karipap-karipap cinta and hantu bonceng. who the hell had the urge to name their film with such name as karipap anyways? duh~) so we decided to watch final destination 5. not bad, i'm fine with gruesome movies. ( okay that's a lie. i still can't bring myself to watch chronicles of saw.) but final destination is another kind of gruesome, because in the characters die in some sort of twisted fate, not because a serial killer with a chainsaw is running a killing spree neither do they are being forced to kill their friends to get a key out of his stomach. other than it's thrill, if anything, final destination made me a little more careful in making decision. good movie, i would say.

and i also got a new pair of shoes, black ones because i kinda forgotten to buy one in darker shades when i went to buy shoes two days ago. but it's okay, i got three new pairs now heehee