I could stay awake just to hear you breathingWatch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
aerosmith 'dont wanna miss a thing'
when i was in lower secondary, i really liked creating stories in my head. of course, being me, there were drawings, and even written stories of the tale i weaved inside my head.
alas, i had lost all those precious pages. but one story stick with me.
the first story i ever written in English.
i still have some drawings of the main characters; tim and kay. yes, at the age of twenty-two i still could dreamily dream about dreaming of these guys i had in my head when i was fourteen.
and sometimes i drew them from memory, like they are two long-lost brothers.
creepy, i know.
they are two guys, and that was why whatever i wrote about them i put under the 'confidential' tag
(i was grateful my little sister still couldn't read in English well at that time).
well, it was confidential to everyone except a best friend who knew about my obsession with shounen-ai and whatnot. she didnt thought anything weird about me. so i shared this part of me with her.
thinking back, i am really freaked out. even now i couldn't write shit. imagine what kind of crap i was writing when i was fourteen. oh well... sorry BF.
what drove me to write about two guys, you say? did the yellow culture caught me up real bad then? hmm.... i gotta say i wasn't an advocate of something like that (i knew the limit) but at that time i was 'accidentally' exposed to creative writing produced by... these group of people. and these stories just kinda caught hold of me. i was head over heels with the love stories (i was a romantic then, and pretty much a sarcastic now).
and POW i came across shounen-ai pages. that's like putting pictorial meaning to a vocabulary i just learned.
the rest was history
anyway, the song above
i can relate very much to tim and kay.
their love
that was how i imagine 'love' would be
when i was young and naive.
that it was soft and pleasant
never rage and never force
and it never fails
but growing up, i lost sight of that meaning of love
all i can see is how much evil can come from it
how much sadness it can cause
how it can broke into million shattered pieces
i really hope that i can feel that kind of love
the kind of love
when tim looked at kay when he was asleep
and kissed his forehead
yes, that kind of love
